It’s crazy how things can change within the blink of an eye…
But I guess thats life nothing is really guaranteed sadly to say so you just have to enjoy the moment hoping that is last longer then a second, min, hour, or day. Thats how quickly something or anything can change no matter what the situation is… As you grow older you grow wiser and figure out alot of things that life offers could be good and bad but the experiences never ends because thats how it works. So you just take it day by day and enjoy the good and bad because nothing lasts forever….
So as you guys know In my last post I told you all the news of me being pregnant a few weeks!!! I have updates and more surprising news!!
Monday, Jan 15th, 2018
I went to the hospital to get my ultrasound done to find out what I was having which happened to be a girl just what I wanted. Very exciting right then right after I found that out. I also found out that I was 2 cm dilated at 23 weeks and 2 days. So that left me in tears I was so happy and then ended with tears in my eyes because I didnt know what to do or expect.
So the doctor who informed me on that sent me downtown to the hospital to high risk to see what was going on. I went downtown and was in triage on the labor and delievery floor for about 2 hours they confirmed that i was dilated but since I was not having any contractions or pain they let me go home.
That following sat which was
Sat, jan 20th 2018
I started having cramping and i know tmi but my vagina was really sore. I wanted to go to the hospital but was too scared untill I had a few friends and my brother talked me into going. I then went to a hospital close to my apartment amd ended up keeping me and then transferring me to another hospital which was downtown because i was still early in my pregnancy and they didn’t have high risk doctors. I ended up staying the weekend there because i was having ealry contractions but it stopped so i got sent up the following Monday.
Then finally weds night I was sleeping amd woke up to really bad back pain I mean it was worst then period cramps it was coming and going up untill Thursday morning then I had to go back to the hospital again I was in early labor I was given steriod shots for baby’s lungs, magnesium sulfate and pills to stop my contractions they then checked my cervix and seen that I dilated more so they sent me downtown again to the other hospital. The next couple of days I stayed there and since I was taking all of those meds my labor stopped so I was gonna get discharged that following monday. Saturday afternoon they gave me my last contraction pill since everything was going good. I was so happy that it was almost monday because I was ready to go home. Saturday evening starting having pain in my back again and this time it was really strong and painful it was coming and going and getting stonger so I called for my nurse to tell her what was going on so she had the doctor come in to check me about 11:30 at night and she said that i was in labor I dilated more amd she felt my water bag. So she told the nurse and they got more doctors they took me downstairs to active labor and delivery floor did an ultrasound to see if she was head down she wasn’t so I had to get an emergency csection. They rushed me to the operation room gave me my epidural and other meds and then it happened I was getting cut and having the baby. At 25 weeks and 1 day Isabella Rose Jones was born at 1 lb and 11 oz at 3:55 am on Jan 28th 2018. She was rushed out of room and straight to the nicu where she is now. Everything happened so fast im still in disbelief. She is days old and is doing good she is breathing on her own only needs 33% of oxygen. She is a fighter its gonna be a long journey in the nicu im just hoping staying positive her it was so hard not being able to hold her and bond with her I cant wait till that day comes. Just got discharged today I miss her already.
Hello you guys how is your 2018 going so far???
So far mine is going great minus the fact that i bought the new year in being sick for the past week or so but i am gettimg better thanks to my vegan powers haha😃. Tomorrow is the day i will be 23 weeks pregnant, this pregnancy is going by so fast and unfortunately i had to cancel my anatomy scan due to the fact that i was sick so i dont know what i am having yet. January 15th is the date i will find out and so will you guys. So far my pregnancy is going well and some things in my life too. Just cant wait to meet my little one and spend my 12 week maternity with him/her thats one of my highlights that im waiting for this year😃👶💖. Hope all is well with you guys and please tell me how your new year is going what are your 2018 plans and goals.
P.s please subscribe if you haven’t already and follow and i will definitely return the love back😃….
Happy holiday everyone!!!
I literally spent my holiday at work like always but today was kind of different. Today was more warm and family oriented. We had some people come in to sing Christmas carols for the residents which they loved and we were also able to watch two really good christmas movies today and I served them egg nog and Christmas cookies. We had so much fun amd they all thanked me for coming in on Christmas. I felt really good because a lot of them did not have family to come visit them or call amd check on them so they all appreciated spending time with me and I am in the same boat as far as not having family to spemd my holidays with so it was wonderful for me as well. Now im home all warm and cozy in my room I ate dinner homemade vegan soup and vegan cheese quesadillas 🙂 and had a hot cup of herbal tea and that was my Christmas:) hope you all had a wonderful day if your willing to share im willing to listen comment below and please subscribe:) goodnight…
If you all read previous blog post then you are all caught up on whats going on with me. In my previous post I put that I was gonna share something big with you guys.
Sept, 1st, 2017 I found out that I was pregnant I am now 20 weeks and 5 days. Due date is May, 8, 2018. I do not know the gender yet that will be revealed on Jan, 4th, 2018. I am so excited and happy like you guys just dont know how excited I am for everything. So far this pregnancy been going good about a week ago I decided to go vegan so I am now pregnant and vegan and so far its been one of the best decisions of my life. I have so much more energy i feel super healthy and just amazing in general. Since I’ve been pregnant I’ve been deciding on alot of things as far as breastfeeding, continue being vegan, am I gonna raise my baby to become vegan, and as far as how im going to change some things up in my life like job wise and ect. Yes i will be breastfeeding, I will raise my baby to be vegan, I am gonna stay vegan of course thanks to my brother and the PETA organization. And as far as job wise I decided that I am going to continue with my reiki 2 and masters certifications and also I am going to become a aromatherapist. I want to be able to heal people and make me feel better through holistic and spiritual approaches emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Right now I am a Activities asst at a nursing and rehabilitation center and I feel as if nothing is getting done as far as healing our residents I want to do more I dont want to see people suffering. I want to heal people and that i what im gonna do.
Untill then if you guys have any questions leave a comment below amd subscribe if you already havent. Happy holidays and love you guys.👶👶👶
Hello all my lovely followers, I can say that its been a really long time since I’ve last blogged and been connected with you all. I had all sort of crazy things happened in my life since I last blogged more then you can imagine. But who doesnt have crazy things going on sometimes you know its life. I’ve been going back in forth about when I would start blogging and writing again I literally just let life distract me from one of things I loved most. But I am happy to say that I am ready. Im ready to focus on it again with no regrets.
So as you guys dont know earlier this year I broke up with my ex boyfriend of two years earlier this year things weren’t going great and that is all im gonna say not gonna put everything out there. But I was really hurt and devastated to the point that I made a decision to move to Atlanta Ga with my younger bro to stay with my aunt and mom. We thought it would be a good idea to start over in a new state epsecially with the harsh breakup I just wanted to leave forget and start over. When we moved out there we did not expect it to be soooo much different from Ohio like literally in a not so good way. Being from Ohio the weather was so humid and hot 🔥 the bugs were sooo big and alot of the people were rude we did not untill we got down there that it was a little more expensive and the job market was horrible could not find work for anything. My life seemed to have gone from bad to worst I couldn’t concentrate or focus on myself like how I thought I was gonna be able to do. Our family was not really supportive at all and for the first time in a long time me and my brother felt like we were stuck. We were there for a about a month in a half we ran out of money and wanted to go back to Ohio but didnt have anything at all. Untill one day me and my brother walked to a park by my aunts house we say at a bench amd was trying to figure out what in the hell we were gonna do. We were talking and tried to come up with a plan to get back to Ohio and thats when I noticed that a ladybug was crawling on my purse. Now remind you ladybugs are good luck when I found that lady bug I automatically knew that something good was about to happen. A few hours later one of my brother good friends called him and told him that he was dropping a package off in Atlanta hes a truck driver and he wanted to see us before he left back for Ohio. We told him what was going on and he told us that we could ride with him back. I instantly cried with joy me and my brother packed our suitcases and never looked back. We road tripped through different states and cities till we made it back to Ohio. Which he let us stay with him amd his family till we got back on our feet. Me and my brother got jobs that same week worked every single day and then we got our own apartment. We accomplished so much after we left especially not for us to have any support from our family we fell down but got right back up and did it on our own. We are technically the only real family we have and im proud of us both. Sometimes I feel sad and lonely knowing that we dont have good family but I always remember that we have each other. And thats all that matters. But yes my life has been a rollercoaster this year but I am happy that we made it through another year and never looking back only at the good times.
If you guys have any questions or comments just drop a comment below!!!!
P.s I will be back I promise and also I do have a big surprise that I would love to share with you guys on my next post so stay tuned love you guys…..
Keeping silence will only hurt me keeping me in the dark will scare me perhaps make me feel alone and startled . Scared of being alone and In more pain then ever I need to know your thoughts your pain, your hurt and feelings because without that I can’t breath I’m lifeless without you my heart is no longer together it’s broken up in a thousand pieces.
Suffering from post trauma stress disorder and depression is really hard to deal with. Some people don’t understand how it feel to be in my shoes or others who suffer from this mental illness or any of them. Some people can look as normal as possible or seem very happy but deep down inside their falling apart inside. Crying,screaming,and falling. People often ask me what do you have to be depressed about, and I answer sometimes when I wake up I feel this certain way like really down and feel like no one understands me. Some days I wake up fine some days I feel like crap. It just comes and go. It’s really hard to deal with. It’s a real struggle not everyone understands or have the patience to try and understand. I support everyone who has a mental illness because I understand and I know what it feel like to be alone and scared and not have that support sometimes. I don’t support the meds but I do support anyone who has any illness.
When I think of having a father I think of being protected,loved,cared for,a tight father daughter bond. But instead I got raped,physically and mentally abused. I watched you hurt my mommy and me. Every Since I was a little girl,I’ve always wondered when it was going to stop. It never did, I watched movies and tv shows of happy families wishing it was us. Wishing I had that father to hold me close and tell me everything will be ok,he will always protect his little girl. Walk me down the alse when I get married. Never knew what it felt like to have a father and never will. It hurts me inside knowing that I have a father full of hate,knowing that he doesn’t care or love his oldest daughter. I’ve always wondered why me why did you hurt me daddy. While did you put your little girl in years why did you think it was ok to touch me like that?Why didn’t you protect me? Why didn’t you love me?Why didn’t you teach me how a real man was suppose to treat me? Now I’m just hurting everyday every night. Having bad dreams and crazy thoughts. Wondering why you hurt me. All I ever wanted was a daddy. A daddy to love me. The tears that I have are unbearable the sharp pain in my heart is more then heartbreak. The feeling of numbness in my soul is scary. I feel so alone,scared,worried,and shameful knowing that my daddy hates me and don’t care for me. Why make me if you were only gonna hurt me. Should of just aborted me. And the crazy thing is you only did this to me,none of my other siblings just me. I’m the only one suffering😢😔😕💔
What would you say if I told you I was insecure about myself,low self esteem runs my life,it runs my heart,my soul, my everything. Deep depression and pure anxiety makes it 1 million times worth. People who told me that they loved me and care about me then hurt me. Makes me feel like there’s no purpose of me being here. I try to push myself to be a better person and love myself but it’s hard. It’s really hard to believe in myself I let so many people walk all over me just because I’m sweet and nice and I’m tired of it. I want to better my life, pack a suitcase full of stuff and move to a whole other state and build myself. I’m kinda scared of being alone. But then I realized I am alone already no mom no dad no family I trust but myself. So I should be fine been alone and only trusting myself for a long time. I just need to stop these insecurities and be a big girl leave and get my life on track try to heal myself and become a new and better girl…….